This is exactly what I'm talking about...

This Saturday not only will I meet God, but I'll also get a shot to interview him.

Digest that sentence for a second before I explain...fantastic let's move on.

I don't mean God in the Alpha/Omega sense. That would probably require dying or going bat-crap crazy (neither of which I'm really not a fan of.) No, I'm talking about none other than former NHL superstar, and my personal deity during my less than amazing hockey career, Patrick Roy! The station I work at is located only an hour away from Montreal. This has lead to a disproportionate amount of Canadiens fans living in our viewing area which therefore justifies me making huge sacrafices from time to time and heading up to the Bell Centre for Habs games. I know, my life is very difficult and full of angst and peril. I'm like every My Chemical Romance song before the Black Parade album. This upcoming Saturday the Habs are retiring Patrick Roy's #33 and I will be there watching, most likely with a childish gleam in my eyes and mouth fully agape.

Which leads to my problem. How does one exactly go about interviewing their hero? I've already been through this once to a much lesser extent when I interviewed Ken Griffey Jr. a few years ago at Cooperstown. Bluntly put, Junior was an aloof ass. He treated us like we were clearly just small market hacks who were wasting his extremely precious time. Which we were, but he went out of his way to remind us of this little fact. Not to sound like one of those bitter newspaper beat writer guys, but that whole deal jaded me a little bit. On top of that Mr. Roy doesn't exactly have the most stellar record when it comes to being a human being. There are rumors about trying to leave wives for strippers and last season it seemed like he was getting tossed out of every other QMJHL game that he coached. All I'm saying is the dick potential is pretty high here. That said, it probably won't even matter how Roy treats the press due to the fact that every time he talks "Dream Weaver" will be the only thing I can hear. I just hope I don't ask a deep, introspective question like, "Patrick, just how did you become so awesome?"